Please note that this series of interpretations is intended to assist specifically in personal healing and shadow work. There are many incredible websites that offer traditional meanings and correspondences.
While The Lovers card is often a welcome addition to any reading, it can mean a variety of things other than the obvious. Yes, it can certainly suggest an exciting new relationship or strengthening of a current one, but the aspect of it that might be most helpful for us in regards to healing is that it can suggest a union of one or more parts of ourselves.
At any given time, many of us are active in several roles such as mother, teacher, wife, brother, employer, son, healer, daughter, mentor and so on. It is not uncommon to feel a challenge when uniting these roles. For example, you may have a career where you are required to use cold, exacting logic, but in the home, you wish to be a warm, compassionate parent.
The Lovers also represents choice so it may feel as though you need to choose between the hats you wear, rather than to integrate them. In some cases you may, in fact, have to choose between roles–especially when they have become more than you can manage while staying healthy and productive. Other times, we can learn to embrace and celebrate the duality in our life.
When was the last time you were called to make a choice in your life that would eliminate something important to you? How did you navigate that choice?
I invite you to journal about the different personas you wear in your life. Note that this is not a negative list–all of us have them! They can be helpful. Which personas do you feel good about and which ones feel like they may be based on shadows and unchecked pain. One example might be a situation where you feel the need to wear a tough exterior and not show vulnerability, which may indeed be necessary but it is worth looking at. Is this reaction based on a previous experience that may not happen again? What might happen if you bring your authentic self into this scenario? Might a different approach open new doors?
As humans, we are continually evolving within ourselves, within partnerships and within our community. It can be helpful to “declutter” aspects of our personalities that are not serving our higher good just as it can be helpful to nourish parts of ourselves that bring value to our lives. Similarly, we may grow out of relationships that have taken a path that is incompatible with ours–it can be difficult, but it is necessary for growth.
The Lovers card represents raw, open communication and honesty both in our relationships and within ourselves. Perhaps we can consider ways to not only unite the seemingly disconnected parts of ourselves but to fall in love with them! When you practice self-care you may wish to include rituals that unify these different aspects and honor the place they have in your life.
“The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
Until our paths cross again…